The Problem With Boxes.

We have a labeling problem. It’s not our fault. The lizard brain within us loves a good label. What a relief it sends our nervous system to “know” what something is. Whew!! “That person is labeled and in their box! NOW I can relax!”

“White supremest”
“Anti-vaxxer”
“Conservative”
“Trumper”
“Fucking Liberal”
“Racist”
“Homophobe”
“Conspiracy Theorist”

Thank god we have all of these labels! How would we know how to relate to people without them?! They provide such easy shortcuts as to how I should treat said labeled person, a) like a human being, OR b) like a dumb ass/criminal. Easy. These labels save me SO MUCH TIME! I don’t even have to talk to anyone or get to know them or hear their (boring) fucking life story. Talk about a life-hack!

It makes it so easy to put people into the “good” and “bad” boxes in my brain where they belong AND it saves me so much painstaking….THOUGHT.

I don’t have to think independently… ask questions… ponder… pray… do any of that god-forsaken “shadow work” or “self improvement” bullshit. I can just smack the label on and I’m done! BAM! Back to my regularly scheduled program…

Easy.

Ahhhh….(cracks open a sparkling hard seltzer.)

Pause.

Ohh. But wait. Hmm…What happens when someone does that to me? What happens when someone labels me? Puts me in an over-simplified box that doesn’t allow any room for who I am? My story? My history… that led me to believe what I do? What happens when this labeling suddenly limits… ME???

Uh-oh.

The Limbic, or “lizard” brain is aptly named. It is the oldest part of our brain…the one reptiles still use to determine their safety. Constantly checking boxes— threat? Not a threat? Check. I’m no brain expert, but that I do know is that this part of our brain is only ONLY concerned with the survival of our body and is directly in contact with the ego which operates mostly to avoid pain at all cost.

These are NOT the parts of us that make us HUMAN. Not the parts of us that should be running the show or deciding who and what is actually a threat. This task would be better suited for the cerebral cortex. This part of the brain is capable of thinking critically. Of making conscious choices. Of gathering new information and making new neurological connections. Of aligning with the soul/spirit/higher self for the purpose of spiritual evolution.

To label and check boxes WITHOUT critical thinking— without challenging our unconscious bias, fear-based beliefs, and conditioning— is nothing but living as a reptile.

We are human. We are given the opportunity to honor the reptilian brain within, but also to CHALLENGE it. Otherwise… who are we but unconscious walking lizard label makers?

I’m guilty of this. Judging. Labeling. Putting people in boxes rather than having a conversation or listening to their story. It’s just so EASY. Too easy. The body actually releases tension when we do this… for this (false) “knowing” gives us a (false) sense of safety & control.

But when it comes to easy…easy is the only reward.

And the cost is great.

The cost is our potential for expansion. The cost is our human evolution & the forward growth of humanity. The cost is the potential for mind-altering, heart-opening relationships. The cost is division— hate even. The cost is closed hearts and closed minds. The cost is distance, fighting, war, and… well, death.

So can we stop? Can we at least try? What if we didn’t label anyone? For just 24 hours? No putting anyone in boxes for their apparent beliefs. No reducing others to their lowest denominator (as determined by the most pretentious part of our own ego.) No ignoring that whomever stands before us— no matter how much we disagree with them— has a story and a beating heart and feelings and fears, just like we do.

We are all human. We are all beautifully intricate and complex beings. We cannot be reduced to a label. To a box. And to do this is to dehumanize us. To reduce boundless beings to a box undermines our magic. Our expansive creativity and wildness. Our untamable nature. At our truest, we are un-labelable, for we are the vast unknown territory that is ever evolving & expanding.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want your labels for me, and would prefer that you withhold them. And I commit to honoring your bigness-beyond-any-boxes just the same.